Harsh reality

People say I'm crazy.  I feel crazy.  That disconnected anxiety is enough to make anyone feel that way.  When you're never right then maybe you just aren't right.  When no one sees what they've done to make you crazy, maybe they've done nothing.  When people say your marriage should be ended because you're a horrible excuse for a person, maybe it should.  You are accused of being irrational when it comes to someone getting close to your kids.  Maybe you just see yourself loving your kids so deeply, but really that's not it.  You think to yourself that they can't be right about everything.  About every aspect of you or your life or your family.  Then you think something worse...maybe they are right and you're completely irrationally wrong on everything you ever knew.  It's scary to think about.  You consider that four people got together and shared a mutual distaste and they're now trying to make you believe these things.  But then you hear the word "everyone" and you're right back where you started!

I'm the bad mom?

I have had many people express to me that I have unfairly taken away from my kids childhood by never have taken them "trick-or-treating".  I mean I guess it IS YOUR opinion...regardless of how asinine and ignorant it may be ;).

First, let me start of by explaining a few thing (I don't feel it's actually necessary) but here we go.  Have you seen the sex offender sites online?  Do you check them frequently to see what type of people are actually living close to your children?  I have.  There are 4 men accused of rape, another handful of men charged with child molestation and child pornography, and a huge handful of perverts who look up kids online and expose themselves to children as well.  I'm not sure about you, but I'm not sure I'd want these fu***** perverts handing out candy to my sweet princess and two ninja turtles!  Even though there are rules in place that don't allow them to participate in beggars not...well...there are also rules that say you can do what you've so clearly done and been charged for.  So please forgive me for not wanting to dress up my children and parade them around the neighborhood for all the sick perverts to stare at.

Secondly, let's talk about other types of sick f**** that prey on kids as well.  Haven't you heard about people putting poison, drugs, and sharp things in candy?  The "I feel the candy first" excuse won't cut it either.  How can you "feel" if a candy bar is full of a substance?  I don't think there is a worse way to "take away from my kids childhood" than by having to rush them to the ER because they overdosed on tampered candy or God forbid something worse.  So if letting your kids take candy from strangers (something we drill into their heads not to do) is ok then don't be surprised if that same kid is lured by some freak in a windowless van passing out free candy.  You've told them it's ok....you're the problem!

Third, let's talk about other safety issues. It's dark, there are a LOT of reckless teenagers and adults with very low IQ's and a very high amount of stupidity, and let's not even mention the idiots who speed through the neighborhoods.  I've seen parents of small children do it themselves...it's reckless.  I feel that putting my child in that setting is simply asking for something bad to happen.

So please forgive me if I'd rather keep my children inside eating candy that I know is safe with guns in the safe for protection.  Pease forgive me if I refuse to show off my kids in front of the neighborhood perverts, because they're probably loving Halloween.  Please forgive me for refusing to take the chance on giving my kids candy from strangers that I do not know.  Please forgive me for recognizing that we live in a disgustingly corrupt world with sick people who get off on hurting kids...we see it on the news every single day.  Please forgive me for taking away from their childhood experience and ruining potentially happy memories.  Please forgive me for not giving my kids an ungodly amount of candy to ruin their teeth and help raise the statistics for childhood obesity. Forgive me for being the best mom I can be...even if no one agrees with my decisions.  I don't ever have anything to say about parents who take their kids out, or those moms who dress like sluts to take their kids door to door.  What's that message?  Just know that my decision for my kids will start them down a good path and when the time comes for them to choose to stay on that path or stray.....I just hope that my decisions will help them choose the right thing.  We can never forget that everything we do impacts our kids lives.  So why put them in a situation that could potentially scar them forever....or worse?  Call me overprotective, but at least my kids are safe.  And you are naive if you think being overprotective in today's world is a bad thing.


Things that could be done more safely years ago aren't necessarily safe or smart today.  I don't sleep with my door unlocked or windows open like my mom used to do when she was a kid.  Common sense people...it's not so common.

The girl with the other half...

To the girl with the other half I know you can't hear my words.  Not because you can't, but because you won't.
We were brought together, not by choice, but by destiny...for purpose.
 Whatever plan there was for us has simply failed...unless there is a lesson learned that I cannot see myself.
You've turned your world upside down and pointed to others placing blame.
You've ruined things...happy things and fail to see your work.
 Words are strong and you've said a lot all that can't be taken back.
Actions are even stronger and those you've plenty of.
Sit back and hush your voice and you'll see with clarity the things you've said and done are deeper than you see.
Bonds are broken lives are changed and we aren't like we once were.
 Change is good, but this isn't change...this is something worse.
You say apologies simply just won't work but I haven't offered one.
You're wrong and you are scared to admit what all you've done.
The bond we had was very strong or so I thought it was.
I was deceived into thinking we were closer than we are.
 One day you'll wake up and open your eyes and realize the truth about your world.
  You'll see the devastating things you've done and dear God  I pray you're strong.
You're lonely, you just don't know it yet and that's a scary thing.
I sincerely hope your strong enough to take this road alone...because no one will be standing there to guide your soul back home.
I love you and I care for you and I don't want to see you come to harm, but this is something you have to figure out for yourself.
I won't come to you or speak to you or even look your way.
You'll have to walk this sad dark trail and I pray for you dear girl.
If you make it back to us it would be so great, but I fear you've fallen way to far to ever change your fate.

Life, Liberty, and the persuit of world domination!

  We are all so clouded by what the media wants us to think that we fail to realize that we are slaves in a country that claims to be free.  Free, is that what you think we are?  Not only does our government hold out their hands for our hard earned money each month, but they fail to take our stolen money and use it FOR THE PEOPLE!  I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, remodeling the oval office, or spending fortunes on personal thousand dollar framed portraits of previous government employees in no way helps the people.  Paying our congress members thousands of dollars only to find out that they worked less than 200 days in the 365 day year and definitely not the 40 plus hours a week that the average American works...that's outrageous.   The government promotes honesty, and responsibility, yet their actions negate all of it.  WE aren't supposed to bury ourselves so far into debt that we continue to borrow and borrow until a resolution isn't even possible anymore....although we see our government do this every day.  How is it that in a fair an honest country we pay the men and women who risk their lives poverty wages, yet a man in a suit who can read pretty words off a monitor and run our country into the ground gets paid more than he will ever need?  A man who sympathizes for the poor and the low income families in our country but spends 22 days on a vacation (one of many) in Hawaii with not a care in the world.  I guess its hard to truly sympathize unless you yourself are in that situation, which our president is not.   How can a man represent the people when he is nothing like them?  He doesn't share the same concern, fear, or every day struggle as the people in this country, yet he claims he knows what is best for us.  Instead of uniting our country he/they would rather us fight amongst ourselves.  How many of you in the past year have had an argument about abortion, gay rights, health care, or even taxes?  If you havent, you are some of the few.  Wake up people...something bigger is going on here, but you would never know it because you're too busy arguing with your neighbor about something you don't even know how started.

Does it HAVE to be one OR the other???

Most of you who know me also know that I am a very outspoken person.  It is rare for me to keep my true feelings about things secret...yeah it's my double edged sword.  So why should this be any different??? Well here it goes...

Homeschool? Public?  This seems to be an irritatingly ongoing, never ending, mind numbing topic that will NOT stop being  brought up all over social media.  Let me first start off by saying that I am a HUGE advocate of homeschooling and I even considered it for my own children.  As surprising as it may seem....we chose for me to get a job instead.  I figured that a plate of food three times a day and clothes to wear...let's not forget a place to sleep was just slightly more important than me playing teacher at home.  I had to weigh my options and sometimes in life we are forced to choose even if both are truly equally important...still doesn't change the fact that we couldn't have both.  Yeah, my husband and I and our family live a fairly comfortable life.  So before you go on about how I chose luxury over the greater good of my kids, yeah, just get that shit out of your head now.

So here's the thing.  My kids (just one so far) are public school kids.  The difference?  I am one of those parents that is actually INVOLVED with my child's education.  I help her with things at home, ask her about any concerns she might have, volunteer at school (when I can).  I also make damn sure that she is being treated right, not only by her fellow classmates, but her teachers as well. If I ever for one second felt as though my child was not growing the way she should in public school...I'd be the first person to address the situation...no matter how many times it takes....until I felt good about it. So for you moms out there with your homeschooled kids, always home cooked dinners, and super clean houses.  Yeah...you can get off it already.  I admire you for all that you do, and i know first hand how difficult being a stay at home mom is.  However, I also know first hand how being a "go to work mom", then come home and clean and cook mom...get home from work late and do homework with your kids mom....squeeze in a late night workout mom...(the list is endless) can be too.  I think that once we stop trying to one up each other and realize that it's not a pissing match then we might be able to see the big picture.  The fact is sometimes kids struggle and fail in public school system and it's not for all kids...but they do it anyway.  Sometimes kids who do homeschool fail and lack social skills and don't excel as much as they would had they been in public schools.  Just know that I as a parent make the best decision I can with the options I am given.  I don't just send my kid off to school because I don't want to deal with them.  I send them off to school because I researched the school system they're in and have done the best I can on my side.

So before it even becomes an issue lets go ahead and talk about school violence.  Sure, we see kids bring guns and knives, but it's inevitable that we live in a very dangerous world.  Anyone could die in a car crash, do you make your kids walk everywhere they go?  People shoot up movie theaters, are they not allowed there either?  Hell, parents have molested their children and a lot worse, do you insist on having supervised parenting with your kids? No, you don't.  Why?  Because not all situations are the same and the threat is there regardless of the decisions we make.   This argument is more than flawed.

I only ask one thing...and that's is that we shut the hell up and stop arguing about something that will keep us spinning in circles.  Just because you're a stay at home mom doesn't mean that is always the best choice.  And just because you send your kids to public schools doesn't mean that is always best either.  So unless God decrees it one way or another...shut the hell up!!

This isn't a debate so if you plan on arguing with me....you'll just get deleted.

Equality??

It's not that I agree with people like Georgie Zimmerman, but more that I don't understand the contradiction.  How can one man defending himself or whatever you want to call it from a black kid beating him be considered racist.  Fine...let's say he's racist and call it what it is.  How then is it that every story in which an older white man, or young white couple, or college student being beaten to death by a black person, usually a gang not considered racist? Or even considered at all?  For years black people have fought for equality and fairness.  Your ancestors fought for the right to vote and the right to be free.  Now that you have that you think it's acceptable to show racist hateful acts towards white people?  That is the part I don't get.  You want equality for all unless it's a white man who looked at a black man the wrong way, used the wrong tone, or said the wrong words.  You can call me a cracker and beat and kill people, but it's not even mentioned.  How does that make you any better than my ancestors.  It's doesn't...it makes you worse.  You know better and you've felt its effects, yet you force the same cruel  things you fight against for your people on to mine.

Yeah...I know.

Me?  Yeah...I'm far from perfect...I know that much!  Let me tell you what I know about me.  I'm rude, outspoken, fairly abrasive, and slightly mean.  I'm the type of girl who tells you what's on my mind and leaves no truth untold.  I feel honesty is the best policy, even though some say I'm too honest.  That's code for "hey, you're a bitch".  Yeah yeah yeah...you can't handle what I've got to say...I get it!  Here's the thing.  If you ask for my opinion then that's exactly what you're gonna get.  Is it my fault if you don't like what I have to say?  If you do something that I feel needs to be addressed then that's what I'll do.  I've made people cry and I've let people go...I've also lost a lot of friends.  I am fully aware of how detrimental the consequences can be.  I've been In my fair share of arguments and been told more than once that I come on to aggressively.  What?  I'm a passionate person.  What can I say?  I don't like complainers, so if thats you then you're automatically out.  If you have something wrong with you every other day then you're definitely out!!!  If you're one of those fake ass people that says one thing to my face, but contradicts every single word behind my back....bitch...you were never in.  Yeah, seems picky.  What do I care?  Here's the thing, I might be super selective (or rather intelligent) in who I choose to spend my time with, but I'm fantastically loyal.  And that...is hard to find.  So I might be the girl who says "yeah, that does make your ass look huge" or "uuhhh what you did pissed me off and now you're going to listen to my words" , but the beauty is...you can be picky too.   You can also not ask my opinion if you're looking for someone to stroke your ego, leave my buttons Un-pushed, and please please, whatever you do, do NOT cry.  Crying is an uncomfortable thing, and if you're an adult and force me to see you're unnecessary tears...then prepare to see me walk away.  Omg did that sound harsh.  Oops...there I go again.  I seriously cannot stop this honesty thing.  So yeah, my faults?  I could use a little more censorship and a lot more shut the hell up...I'll work on it ;).  In the mean time, I'll go back to cuddling kittens and watching grown men cry.  See...I can't even make it sound believable.  Sigh* I can't be perfect all the time!  Oh...that's right...I'm not Jesus!