As I am sure most of you know, ending a friendship or having a friendship end is not easy. That's not to say it isn't necessary, because for me, it usually is. However, being easy is something I never claimed to be true about a broken relationship. The hardest part is when your ended friendship effects mutual friendships. Its that collateral damage that everyone hates and No One looks forward to. Things are never the same and the battle lines have been drawn. Simply put, everyone has to choose a side. Those who refuse usually end up walking away or their side is chosen for them. Either way the outcome is messy. Feelings are hurt, ties are cut, and sadly more people than should be are affected by the fallout of two friends. So, who do you choose? What factors dictate your decision? As much as you might want to keep both, you know that being stuck in the middle never ever ends well. You have to be careful with what you say and who you say it to. Things get twisted and advice is not simply that...its ammo to use against the other person. Not sure how it turns so ugly but it always does.
I lost a friend in the past year which ultimately resulted in me losing about 5 friends once all was said and done. The other person (as far as I know because she lost some friends that aren't mutual) is down about 8 or 9 that I am aware of. Is that indicative of who was more wrong? Or is it simply that the other person (me) was more liked? If you ask me, I think I was right in the situation, but that is my view...and we all know there are many when it comes to things like this! Keep in mind three of the friends I lost were related to the other party in some way, so that was a given. Family usually trumps friend, regardless of who was wrong!
So I guess what I am trying to say it that I am mad. Mad that I lost friends. Mad that my side wasn't heard. And mad that I have yet to receive ONE good excuse as to why being my friend is impossible. You'd think knowing someone for years qualifies you for at least a simple explanation, but that is just not the case. People are mean and hateful and let their anger for something they brought upon themselves cloud their vision and rule their miserable lives. Just know that I am the type of person who values her friendships. When someone can't reciprocate is when it starts to hurt. I adore the friends I have and am thankful they have stuck with me thus far. Through fights (bad fights, happy times, sad times, and even those weird "I don't know whats going on" times. Because that is what a friends does! They stick by your side and help guide you through life and take their turn to lean on you when needed. Sometimes we forget how short life is. Its going to be a harsh reality when people finally realize that they are alone in a world that is unkind and VERY unforgiving! The longing for one friend to ease the pain of going through life in this scary world we live in will do its best to eat you alive. Don't burn all your bridges, because everyone knows its impossible to rebuild using ashes.
I love my friends dearly. The ones who are blood and the ones who aren't. There are great people in my life that I would...hands down...give my life for. Is there anyone who can say that about you?? I know I wouldn't and I can honestly say that I can't think of anyone who would. I sure hope when things get lonely that you are as strong as you seem when you were pushing me away with your hurtful words. Life goes on...and on...no matter how lonely you are.
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