Team work

When I have each child by themselves they really are quite pleasant.  Sometimes even with just two of them together it isn't so bad.  But...when their powers combine there is no escaping them.  Small children should not come with an abundance of energy, considering the parents usually possess about half of that at best.  My children are crafty.  Not only do they succeed every single day in making me pull my hair out crazy, but I'm convinced they plot together in a plan to "take down mommy".  It's not necessarily the constant screaming and fighting.  It's not just the relentless whining, the crazy energy, or even the knack they have for keep the looking as though a tornado has gone through the house.  There is something about the way they go about doing it that has been losing sleep at night.  The way they manage to work in such a perfect way that one seems to always have my attention, therefore distracting me from what the other two children are doing...or destroying in another room.

  What many parents fail to realize is that children are pure evil encased in pure innocence.  Yes, such a confusingly terrifying combination!  What do you do when your children have decided to team up against you?  Well you start by pulling the cheerios out of your hair, getting out of those over sized pajamas and into something with a button and zipper.  And for crying out loud stop biting your nails.  The only way you will ever spend time in the bathroom without an audience or eat food without sharing is to stop letting the kids run the house.  Yeah, a lot easier said than done, I realize that myself.  I've tried simply ignoring my kids when they start arguing and whining, but that never works.  The kids ALWAYS out last the parents, its just what they're good at!  I've tried separating them and getting their attention on something different, but that's never successful.  Lets be honest, two hands just aren't enough, not even for one kid...especially not three.  Ive tried time out and punishments...fail. 

So I've come to the conclusion that there is no solution.  Starting with sleepless nights and sore boobs.  Moving on to temper tantrums and biting.  Now we're to blatant disrespect and back talking.  Someone please tell me how to keep a straight face when your three year old tells you she can do what she wants because she's a princess.  If this is Karma for how I acted when I was a child, then my kids better watch out...their kids are going to be lighting their hair on fire when they sleep.  Eventually it will come to the point where we can all sit back with our wrinkles, balding heads, and tremors brought on by the terror you have suffered over the past 18+ years.  Longer if you're kid is camped out in your basement.  So...here is my advice.  HIDE and PRAY they don't find you. Show no fear!  Cookies are a good distraction.  And its ok if you find yourself crying in the back of your closet!  Kids will be kids and that's the terrifying truth...You'll love them anyway.